ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
The Skyrim world of "Onyx". After Alduin was banished, this ebony Dragonborn still wanders the hostile lands searching. Killing. Shouting. Purging. Defining his presence in both cruelty and grace.
-A former teammate of Onyx is held captive by Stendar's followers so to honor an old allegiance, the Dragonborn sets off to rescue her. Though as expected, a trap has been set and drastic measures seems to be the only way out of the mess.-
Artwork by:
Part II:
Skyrim©Bethesda
-A former teammate of Onyx is held captive by Stendar's followers so to honor an old allegiance, the Dragonborn sets off to rescue her. Though as expected, a trap has been set and drastic measures seems to be the only way out of the mess.-
Artwork by:
Part II:
Skyrim Chronicles: Vigilance II
I took a few moments to stare at Judas; much like me the apparel he chooses to cover him also hides his face. Well, perhaps it’s because the Nightingale’s need to be conspicuous agents of shadow makes their uniform like that; regardless of that fact, I know he is staring at my eyes as I stare into his. That moment is interrupted as the Vigilants regroup and starts taking their shots at us. Kharjo rolls out of the way, Judas does the same but manages to release at least four arrows, I on the other hand summon Spellbreaker to repel the ones coming my way before retaliating with a shot of a bolt. Three of their archers fall to their death, and another injured badly, by now I have reloaded Avarice and running to the nearest available cover. Their formation regains their momentum and continues to fire waves of arrows, which of course forces us to stay on the defensive. Kharjo manages to shoot one before barely avoiding a few arrows
Skyrim©Bethesda
Mature
© 2014 - 2024 gh0st-of-Ronin
Comments8
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I had a difficult time following this one. Here's a helpful link regarding punctuation within dialogue.
theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/…
I'm having some issues with this paragraph:
“It might be a trap, Dragonborn,” With his steed stopping on its tracks, Kharjo gets off, setting himself on the ground before crouching. I find it peculiar that as a Khajiit he adheres to stealth but he dons a heavy dragon bone armor that is not the most adequate for preemptive tactics. “But I have a feeling that it doesn’t really bother you if it is.”
You don't want to break up the dialogue too much. Let Kharjo speak and then in the next paragraph spell out Onyx's observations.
"It might be a trap, Dragonborn," Kharjo says as he comes to a full stop and dismounts his steed. "But I have feeling that it doesn't really bother you if it is."
As he landed, Kharjo crouched down in his heavy dragon bone armor. I find it peculiar that as a Khajiit he adheres to stealth, yet dons a kind of armor that is not the most adequate for preemptive tactics.
Still hidden withing Boethia’s gift, I move slightly closer, now being mindful that a Vigilant has come out. What is withing?
“Somewhat, you say?” I can’t blame Kharjo for his tone of voice; after all, one of the three who holds the rank of Lady Night’s warriors isn’t exactly the most virtuous fellow in Skyrim. “From what the people have been saying, Dragonborn, the Nightingale has never been so tainted.” Dialogue tag needed after first sentence. I really have no idea who's talking and what is Kharjo's tone (angry, menacing?).
theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/…
I'm having some issues with this paragraph:
“It might be a trap, Dragonborn,” With his steed stopping on its tracks, Kharjo gets off, setting himself on the ground before crouching. I find it peculiar that as a Khajiit he adheres to stealth but he dons a heavy dragon bone armor that is not the most adequate for preemptive tactics. “But I have a feeling that it doesn’t really bother you if it is.”
You don't want to break up the dialogue too much. Let Kharjo speak and then in the next paragraph spell out Onyx's observations.
"It might be a trap, Dragonborn," Kharjo says as he comes to a full stop and dismounts his steed. "But I have feeling that it doesn't really bother you if it is."
As he landed, Kharjo crouched down in his heavy dragon bone armor. I find it peculiar that as a Khajiit he adheres to stealth, yet dons a kind of armor that is not the most adequate for preemptive tactics.
Still hidden withing Boethia’s gift, I move slightly closer, now being mindful that a Vigilant has come out. What is withing?
“Somewhat, you say?” I can’t blame Kharjo for his tone of voice; after all, one of the three who holds the rank of Lady Night’s warriors isn’t exactly the most virtuous fellow in Skyrim. “From what the people have been saying, Dragonborn, the Nightingale has never been so tainted.” Dialogue tag needed after first sentence. I really have no idea who's talking and what is Kharjo's tone (angry, menacing?).
“Nothing, yet(,)" he signals his comrades.
“Remain vigilant brother(.)” Another one comes out, and he has mace drawn out. “They will come for this one soon enough.”
“You’ll get the chance yourself,” (dialogue tag needed: I say). Right after the last word, the sound of hoofs hitting the ground echoes and a few more arrows are shot, halting the Vigilants’ retaliation. I recognize the arrows… also the sound of that horse; Shadowmane. “The Nightingale sends their regards, it seems.”